Dancing With The "L" List Stars...

Audrina Patridge. Brandy. Florence Henderson. Margaret Cho. Jennifer Grey. Bristol Pailin. David Hasselhoff. Michael Bolton. Rick Fox. Kurt Warner. Kyle Massey. And my personal favorite and soon to be season eleven Dancing With The Stars winner, The Situation. ABC has hit an all time low. When the contestants were announced last season, I thought between Buzz Aldrin and the adorable Evan Lysachek, I thought that they had lived up to Dancing With The STARS. I'd call a gold medal olympian and the first man to walk on the moon a star. But ABC, you call Bristol Pailin a star? And exactly what do you believe she is famous for?

     For the people who watched The Hills, we know Audrina as the girl who befriended Lauren Conrad and sat behind a desk at Epic Records, and did the occasional press tour for promoting The Hills. Do I see the word star in that description anywhere? Brandy Norwood. Does the 1998 summer hit "The Boy Is Mine" ring a bell?  Brandy and Moesha? I will have to give her the sympathy vote for being in a fatal accident at the end of 2006. Brandy, don't count on becoming a star at the end of this process. "Greg, Bobby, Peter, Jan, Marsha, Cindy... time for breakfast." Florence Henderson. Just go back to dancing at the mall with your famed chillens in your Sunday best. Not in the ballroom. Margaret Cho. Next. Jennifer Grey. You're probably thinking she has an advantage with knowing the famed Dirty Dancing Finale dance.  I don't know about you, but  I know one of my all time favorite movie quote is "nobody puts baby in corner". And as she said on the reveal show, its been over twenty years since she made the famed dance. I'd say somewhat of a star in my mind. Bristol Pailin. I'm not gonna say much, but she's ridiculous for signing on with Dancing. If I was her, I'd bomb the first two weeks and go hide and see what I could do to make up for being an embarrassment to the start of my mothers 2012 presidential campaign. 

     David Hasslehoff. Congratulations ABC. You have chosen the "Baywatch"running down the shore in his best lifeguard swimming trunks to viral YouTube hit. I won't go into details. Michael Bolton. Anyone remember the 1997 Disney Hit Hercules? Oh I hope you do. Because our fellow dancer wrote the theme song to the movie, "Go The Distance". If you don't remember the song, google it. Rick Fox. Basketball star who was formerly married to Vannessa Williams. Made cameo appearances on random and I mean random T.V. shows. Kurt Warner. Apparently a class act. He came back from a what should have been a career ending injury. I see some major heart melting votes in football fans future. Kyle Massey. I have one word of advice. Starts with q and ends with uit. You just turned nineteen years old. Go live your life on the Disney Channel where you belong. I've been saving the best for last. The Situation melted my heart on a cold night back in December 2009. I wasn't sure of you first, but then as the episodes got funnier and wilder, I knew you belonged on Dancing. I do hope though because you are sequestered at the shore, you are able to kick it into gear on September eighth when you are released.        

     Congratulations ABC on eleven seasons and another eleven L list stars. 

-Sara-