I Don't Do Paperwork...

As most of us were sleeping away the start of the new year, our beloved Lilo was tweeting her most intimate thoughts to the twitter-verse with the following: "Today is the first day of the rest of my life "The future depends on what we do in the present." -Mahatma Gandhi... One step at a time..."   Thanks for ruining my year, because if January 1st 2011 was the first day of the rest of your life, I was gearing up to face 364 days of boredom. And in my world, boredom equals trouble. Fortunately, I was only bored for a mere 22 days. 
     By now, you should know how obsessive I am about checking my celebrity gossip. And when people know major Hollywood news before I do, they love to rub it in knowing that they knew something before I did. Saturday night was one of those nights. While celebrating the February birthdays, my hero announced to the table that Lilo would be enjoying her last full weekend of freedom, because come Monday morning, Lindsay Dee Lohan will have another charge added to her lengthy list of lets just see what I need to say to avoid another jail stint record. Our beloved starlet will be charged with but officer I was just borrowing it for a photo shoot please don't go and tattle to the judge about this, but oh this is kinda a big deal so I kinda have to felony grand theft of stealing a $2,500 one of a kind necklace. 
     Well Sara, since you are the source for the real news, aren't you gonna tell us what happened? Sit back, relax, and enjoy another episode of Lindsay Lohan Does Life: The Sketchy Way. 
     Lindsay had everything going for her; a new outlook on life, well known AA sponsor, and a photo-shoot post Betty Ford that would help pay off the you pay our former employee we won't tell the judge on you domestic dispute bills. Wanting to make the first photo-shoot picture perfect, Lilo would have her stylist call upon Kamofie & Company jewelry store to complete the look. On the afternoon of January 22, Lilo was seen mingling around the store wearing it, and then "accidentally" walked out of the store. Now, honestly, how do you forget you had a  one of a kind necklace on? I mean seriously, this is Los Angeles we're talking about, not Tulsa, Oklahoma. When you shop in Los Angeles, you are guarded with only the best security that L.A. can offer. 
     While being interviewed for information, owner Sofia so and so (I guess she's too cool to give out her last name) revealed that in order for celebs who want to borrow jewelry must do the following:  "When we loan out jewelry, we have a whole procedure that needs to be done.  There is paperwork that needs to be filled out and there needs to be insurance information given, or credit card information in case something happens with the jewelry." 
I understand that while you want to keep your product safe and guarded, but you have to fill out paperwork?! What kind of store do you run? Fort Knox? But then again, you wait a full 24 HOURS to report the missing piece stolen to the L.A.P.D.? Something's not right here. 
     After being one of those people who can't make up her mind wether she wants to stay with Lindsay or go somewhere else, Lindsay's second mother/lifesaver/eh, I'm not so I can get you out of this one/lawyer to the stars Shawn Chapman Holly. On the opposing side: Currently running for Los Angles County Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers. The name sound familiar? She prosecuted Lindsay in the never ending story of the DUI drama. Her speciality? Felonies. Translated in simpler terms? She's fresh out of lollipops.
     With the charges being filed first thing Monday morning, and my work schedule already made out, it is with my great hope that Judge Fox can read my mind across the country and allow two things. A: Cameras in the court room, and B: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I beg of you, anything, I will make you brownies, I will do whatever you have to do to let me see Lilo LIVE in court. Every other court appearance of her's has been texted to me, or has been DVR'ed. It's just not the same taped. 
     Sung in the smash hit of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, "When You Believe" there are lyrics including the words of: "there can be miracles when you believe though hope is frail..."  If I want to see this all unfold live, looks like this will become my theme song of what could be another season of lies, backstabbing and plea bargaining. 


-Sara-